Lacey needs her MOMMA!!!!

This is by far the craziest thing I have ever had to deal with. It is a roller coaster of emotions from complete confusion and fear, to laughing and bonding with the people I love the most! (ya that's right it's you the fam!)Yesterday was the worst day of my whole life.....I listened to how my Dad and Sister talked to my Mom even in her drunken state and honestly I was jealous. So I begged for a chance to hang out with my mom for the night. Late that night they decided to keep the breathing tube in her throat, which also means they had to keep her under heavy medication to keep her comfortable. In the morning they wanted to take the breathing tube out. I called my dad and had him come over. As soon as they let him in I gave him a second and got some gum from the vending machine out in the lobby.(the way this works is you have to get a badge from a guard to get through a remote controlled door to get to the area where my mom is. They only let two people in the room at a time)I ask for my badge back and they won't give one to me. Only one person can be in the room for a three hour period........Since I was told about this accident I have never been able to tell my mom how much she means to me. I miss my mom so much my chest just burns and my body just wants to give up. I feel like she has no idea I am even here. I never told her, and maybe never realized how dependant I am on my mom. I love her guts. Just looking at her face makes my heart not hurt so bad. Last night my dad and I were in the room talking and I had my mom's hand and I said," mom it's Lacey.Mom if you know I love you squeeze my hand one time." AND SHE DID!! We got so excited!! I said."If you think Dad loves you more than me squeeze my hand 14 times." hahahahahahah -Mom even in so much pain you knew exactly what "I" needed I don't really know what to do without you when I'm sad?! You're who I go to, to make it better.I love you Mom and we all need you. Thank you everyone who has helped me. Your acts of kindness are truly appreciated.